Is it insomnia that dissolves the border between reality and fantasy? Or is just being enough to make the mind unable to understand the world awake? Is it enough to be able to understand someone else? To love someone? No, and no, says Gondry; has so many tics and quirks, I love the way he sees the world. Our communication skills are shabby, particularly for the quantity and quality of emotion. How deep. So what does it take to break through that wall? The doubt. The memoryscapes. The colors and playfulness, and the painful self-awareness that traps. His poor men, so sensitive and insecure. And his Stephanie, in love with the Alpha-dog; nice but the wrong girl. So far, the men I know all say, “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

So, shrug.
Moving on.

The crocuses came up - on Thursday it was all golden yellows, on Friday the purples and whites joined in too.
Spring is here. In February! They inspire: “If they are brave, I can be too.” Life is worth doing right the first time.

OK, - me again just talking talking boring noise - whatever. Time for this one to sleep. Pleasant dreams, sleeping tight and no bed bugs.

Edited after waking: Was just thinking about the way the main character slips back and forth between three languages. His French is poor so even if you understand what he is saying there is the probability of misunderstanding. He is by definition miscommunicaton. Miscommunicating. Speaking most clearly through symbols, artwork and dreams.

I’m going back to the States for a few days in April.

Prepping for bed after a long LONG couple of days of revision and before two more long LONG days of MORE revision. Revision, aka CRAM STUDYING before exams.

I’m on a “what does today mean” kick because of my horoscope from last week - said that today was a revelation day. The waking-dream seems like a key but I couldn’t exactly translate it and other than that it was all about revision. Oh, and yoga midmorning per the usual Sunday routine. Tried to make my standard Sunday pancakes using homemade applesauce instead of eggs/milk (a vegan recipe I semi-learned from V) so I microwaved an apple and threw it into the flour HOT only to realize that it needed cooling. The flour immediately gelled, so I opted for “scones” and threw the mush into bowls, into the microwave - our only oven - and “baked” my bread. Came out eh, so I threw it back in for a few more minutes only to BURN TO A CRISP these now rock hard lumps of would-be-breakfast. So I opted for Irish Coffee on the go instead. C’est la vie.

As the deadline of doom approaches I’m actually feeling rather game, which is nice. This evening I started practice exams using old exams from years prior with my friend Dianne and had my ass handed to me with a couple of the questions but was well pleased with my ability to answer some of the questions which was very nice. Nice, nice and nice. All things that exams should be. We’ve got a spot exam on Wednesday morning, oral exam Wednesday afternoon, and the big sit-down multiple choice, short answer & long essay exam on Friday after which I plan to eat, drink, be merry and then ditch town for a week. Whoop!

You don’t say!?

We had a class in this earlier in the week. Attendance was poor (typical for “Personal and Professional Development” classes) but the description was EVERYONE in our class. If we’re this stressed out midway (nearly through actually) the first semester, what will we be like at the end of the fifth year?? Jeepers! Personally, I’ve been having parasite nightmares and other wake me up in the middle of the night for no reason but to make sure I only get 3 1/2 hours of sleep a night type dreams. It’s not like I have a hard enough time falling asleep to begin with (my room is too cold for me and the central heating gets shut down at 12p; WAY too early in my opinion!) but as I say, I’m so by far not the only one of us in this boat.

Had a most amazing lecture presentation this morning (”Examination Of…”) wrapping up the lessons in The Alimentary System. One of those classes that puts you back on track for why you are studying this information. Ah, yes. Some of you have been asking, what exactly has been covered to date? So here’s the quick list of systems we’ve learned since Sept.

“Core Topics”
(Histology)
Anatomy
Integument
Haemolymphatic
Intro to Nervous system
Endocrine
Immunology
Urinary
Cardio / Respiratory
Alimentary

also,
Parasitology
Epidemiology
Statistics

Oh, and Metabolism (which could be part of Alimentary but is biochem and kicking my ass.) So - not that I know it all but that is what I’ve looked at.

ETC. But that gives you a basic idea.

Off to study. Tah!

Celebrations tonight on the Meadows. Can already hear the fireworks from my bedroom. Would love to go down to the Firth of Forth to watch some but it’s too cold to travel that far.

Charlie, my new little birdman, is singing to his reflection. He’s most sexy.

Our class got lectured in the middle of this past week about how we’ve been integrating poorly with the other 2nd Year students. We’d already had several professors walk in with the comment, “I see the reputation that proceeds you is justified.” Oh well. It felt to me (proverbial swat on the head with newspaper) culturally unjustified. We can only do the best with what we are! But then I was assured the problem was more specific than that and we internationals from across the pond are…… fine. Realized today that my habits have come home to haunt me: the words you think become the truth you live. Am now truly behind in my studies - by at least a month. Thank you CB for the awareness lesson. Now here’s one I’ve been holding onto since the start of school, written by the selftaughtgirl.

Haven’t been maintaining my journals lately. Am too busy, doing what? Not checking facebook. Going to birthday parties? Eating chocolate biscuits and rice pudding? Had breakfast at Toast today. It’s just not the same. Close, yes, and good but no cigar.
Missing u V.

what i meant to say is, the bathroom is completely tiled and the shower is just a curtain that pulls across to separate it from the toilet & sink. (I tried to take a picture to show but it just didn’t come out right.)

Today was easier - more “meet your Teachers” activities and one very long lecture on nutrition: labelling & contents. Interesting guy with lots of great energy who will be teaching us the local slang as well. “When a punter comes in and says, ‘I don’t know why Fluffy is so fat’ you can point out that wet food is 70% water, so a cup of dry is not its nutrative equivalent.” We like him. In fact, we like a lot of the teachers (they’re not Professors, that is only the head of the department). I met the woman I hope to do some research for at our drinks this afternoon as well. She’ll be teaching us neurology. Has recently been a participant in a paper on spinal nerve cord regeneration studies on the zebrafish. Paydirt! Have promised new friend Clare from New Orleans to not drop back by a year if I can avoid it. Love her! She’s super cute, super smart, sweetheart. (Reminds me very much of Sam from GAH. Sigh.)

I should take a moment to correct the information I shared regarding the numbers of international students. We, the Graduate Entrance Professionals, number 72 with one more to come once the visa clears. Usual years number 12-15. We are also the first year of an experiement in advanced-rate integration. Our “first year” is these 5 weeks of August until Fresher’s Week in September, when the 2nd Year students return. Theoretically, because we all have previous degrees in biological sciences, we have already learned all of the Anatomy, Physiology, and Biochemistry necessary. Unfortunately, I really needed to get my reviewing completed before leaving the States.

Tomorrow is our first day of practicals. They didn’t have our required clothing pre-ordered and so we’ve had to purchase what we could (at a tad higher cost) from a local distributor. Who ran out of Wellies. It’s a bit of chaos here. I now understand why all the paperwork referred to deadlines on or around 15 September. But we did get the Animal Husbandry Extra-Mural Studies requirements sorted out. Now it is just a matter of actually filling out the reports and completing the remaining (7? 8? 9? I don’t even know how many to consider finished) weeks. Since this cannot be done during the school year, I will be spending my Christmas vacation on a local dairy farm and my Easter break tending lambing and pigs. Or possibly the pigs could also be worked into the Christmas break and I can use the remaining Easter break after lambing on horses and poultry? In any case, I won’t be going on a National Lampoon tour. Hahahaha.

More pictures……

My lovely bedroom.

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