Is it insomnia that dissolves the border between reality and fantasy? Or is just being enough to make the mind unable to understand the world awake? Is it enough to be able to understand someone else? To love someone? No, and no, says Gondry; has so many tics and quirks, I love the way he sees the world. Our communication skills are shabby, particularly for the quantity and quality of emotion. How deep. So what does it take to break through that wall? The doubt. The memoryscapes. The colors and playfulness, and the painful self-awareness that traps. His poor men, so sensitive and insecure. And his Stephanie, in love with the Alpha-dog; nice but the wrong girl. So far, the men I know all say, “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

So, shrug.
Moving on.

The crocuses came up - on Thursday it was all golden yellows, on Friday the purples and whites joined in too.
Spring is here. In February! They inspire: “If they are brave, I can be too.” Life is worth doing right the first time.

OK, - me again just talking talking boring noise - whatever. Time for this one to sleep. Pleasant dreams, sleeping tight and no bed bugs.

Edited after waking: Was just thinking about the way the main character slips back and forth between three languages. His French is poor so even if you understand what he is saying there is the probability of misunderstanding. He is by definition miscommunicaton. Miscommunicating. Speaking most clearly through symbols, artwork and dreams.

I’m going back to the States for a few days in April.

I’ve been challenged (that is to say, it was suggested to me in a very charming sort of way) to put down the pen for awhile, to live without the reflection and distillation for public consumption, to keep my thoughts to myself and only discuss one-on-one. OK, I’ve been mulling it over and I now accept. That’s my Valentine to you.

From Wikipedia: “Dreamgirls, a 1981 Broadway musical, is said to be inspired by the Supremes, and the central character of Effie White, originated by Jennifer Holliday, is said to be modeled after [Florence] Ballard. That character was played by Jennifer Hudson in the film version of Dreamgirls released in 2006, which featured more overt references to Ballard’s life and the Supremes’ story than the stage musical. Both Holliday and Hudson’s portrayals of Effie have received rave reviews: Holliday won the 1982 Tony Award for Best Leading Actress in a Musical for her performance, while Hudson has been awarded a number of critics’ awards, including a 2007 Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy. At the conclusion of her Golden Globe Award acceptance speech, Hudson dedicated her win to Florence Ballard. Several days after receiving her Golden Globe award Hudson was nominated for the Academy Award in the Best Supporting Actress category.”

Saw it. What wouldn’t I do to be as gorgeous and perfect as Beyonce? Sigh. Pretty flawless cast, pretty flawless costume and makeup and set design, pretty pretty film. Walked home with the songs still stuck in our heads and started singing disco to my poor flatmate who missed out on all the gorgeous fabulousness of the 70s. I’ve always loved Diana Ross and this doesn’t shake that but now I know a bit about our tragic Florence Ballard too. Thumbs up.

The Griddle Breakfast Menu is perfection. I say it probably twice a week but particularly today I again (again) woke up extremely needy, desperately missing our old routine. Jeremy? V? Coffee, Peanut Bubba or Black Magic, fruit bowl, maybe a mimosa, the back room if we can get it or the back table if not,…. and invite EVERYONE. Or, we could do Toast, Lulu’s (or LaLa’s Lilo? Oooh Lola’s! hahahhaa),… maybe sneak over to the Grove for crepes and reading at B&N in the afternoon? Ha. Back ever farther,… let’s just go to Hoffman’s. Or the Bistro. No, Hoffman’s. Dan? Lisa? Whatdya think? It’s not that I don’t love my people here - because believe me, I do and they know it - but no one understands. A woman like me has NEEDS. I want my Sunday brunch! Guess I’ll be making myself some banana pancakes and singing along to Jack but I’d so much rather be there with youse guys.

P.S. Will someone buy me a scratch-n-sniff “Hotcakes” T-shirt??