| February 26th, 2006 | Post #306 *plus or minus four |
On the heels of walking in on someone else’s conversation of the same topic, Stephanie and I were talking about why it’s so difficult to successfully date in LA and here’s a little summation of sorts. (And actually I MAY need to take a bit of my own advice here…) 1) The masturbator. Last year (and if he reads my blog he’ll be so pleased to finally make the pages), I started to get phone calls. You know the one when someone says, "Hello [your name here]?" and then starts to whack off? And if you hang up he calls you back to make sure you get to enjoy the finish? Yes, those. He came up (I’d like to find a better double entendre for that but I’m a little cracked out from dancing all night) because when my phone got stolen, I borrowed Stephie’s phone and all calls got forwarded to her. Including his. (Which finally got me some decent sympathy because you just can’t understand how violating it is until you have it happen to you which, in my case, happened to also be in the same week that some guy driving by pulled over to expose himself to me. NOTE: THIS BEHAVIOR WILL NOT GET YOU LAID.) Anyway, she got a text message for me from a name & number I didn’t recognize and the first idea that popped into both of our minds was, "He’s back!" But then I realized, prank phone callers don’t generally give you their number so you CAN’T call them back (or rather, the police can’t call them back) even if you generally like phone sex but therein also lies the downfall. How can one possibly have a meaningful relationship with someone you can’t call back and who only calls when he’s feeling dirty? YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY SUPPLY A PHONE NUMBER IF YOU WANT THE OTHER PARTY TO PARTICIPATE. (This advice applies to those of us who like a guy on the dance floor as well. I get it.) 2) "We talk all the time." A certain anonymous someone (Y) was asking about a certain anonymous someone else (X) and upon relaying of said message, it was revealed that the leaving of voice mail messages on answering machines had been equated with …conversation. Newsbrief: phone tag is not talking. Listening, nodding and replying to the incoming message is not going to be heard by the person who called you. What you actually need to do is dial the phone and actually talk to a living being. And who knows? Maybe even suggest meeting in person, and showing up? Could help. 3) sex is always available & just not enough Adding 10,000 scantily clad female "friends" to your MySpace page does not count as dating. I know you don’t believe me but they don’t know who you are and probably don’t much care. Maybe it’s just in a city like Los Angeles where the teeming masses of beautiful people come to get discovered that there will always be some new temptation coming down the pike but it seems to me that sooner or later, you’ve got to stop flipping through pages and pages of options, have to stop searching for the better deal. Sure, sure, your career is your only priority. You’re so busy. Your grandmother is sick? Of course, then we’re faced with the daunting problem of where does one find the person whose interests and goals, similar or dissimilar, are compatible with our own? Maybe trying a little harder to make a real connection is worth the effort. Personally, I like to reflect upon the wise words of Jenniebug: "I get all the free sex I want from my hand. What more can you do for me?" Posted in Random-ness |
8 Responses to “Post #306 *plus or minus four”Leave a Reply |
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February 27th, 2006 at 9:14 am
There’s a book out called Unhooked Generation by Jillian Straus that tackles this very subject. One of her theories is that there is just so much choice out there that people, male and female, are always thinking there is someone/thing better around the corner. Finding someone to date is no longer hampered by time and geography. We’re all hooked up online, by text, cell phone, Blackberry; there’s speed dating and hooking up. There is no urgency or excitement of meeting a new possibility; there’s a laziness and lack of effort. When was the last time someone you know went on an old-fashioned date? Its sad, but I hope that maybe when we do stumble about someone who will put some effort in we’ll be smart enough to recognize what a treasure that truly is. We all deserve so much better.
February 27th, 2006 at 10:12 am
“… to expose himself to me. NOTE: THIS BEHAVIOR WILL NOT GET YOU LAID.”
HAHAHAHA Damn, and I really thought that tactic would work. :o)
February 27th, 2006 at 4:04 pm
Kevn, Kevin, Kevin….don’t be too disheartened! I’m sure if you expose yourself at a truckstop on your next drive Vegas, you might have a little manlove luck!
February 28th, 2006 at 11:58 am
big city, urban sprawl, mistrust, disconnect, isolation, competition…loss of the hometown, the help of those that know you, community, knowing the people you date, trusting the advice of others.
Can we help each other? Friends acting as a community to create a sense of belonging and trust…
Los Angeles is the ultimate example of the disconnect that is forming in our society…we can change that.
March 2nd, 2006 at 11:47 am
It’s refreshing and reheartening to hear 1) feedback that reinforces that we’re many of us feeling this way, and 2) stories of people who are actually finding a connection. I guess finding common activities really is a smart step one. Hurray to love on the slopes!
March 2nd, 2006 at 5:01 pm
So what we all need to know is: is there any possibity of you finding your dancefloor guy again, or did the opportunity pass by?
As far as finding a connection - its wild. My faith is reborn (or as they say at The Gardens of Taxco ‘Bourrrrrrrnnnneee’) and no one more than Barecca knows what that means coming from me. It seems that, after all, there are people out there worth spending the energy it takes to get to know and appreciate them. They may appear in the most unexpected places and I suppose if we open our eyes and tear that protective wall down, we will actually see them standing right in front of us. By protective wall, I mean the way people are habitually so guarded against being naked, figuratively speaking, in my experience so many people have a massive protective front on - myself included.
March 3rd, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Nah, I continue to be the woman who when she sees the man she adores, or even just a new hottie, feigns indifference in the hopes he’ll be tempted for more and then, should he, disappoints by being excessively emotional or, should he not, is left waiting and wondering what went wrong. Besides, everyone is a hottie on the dance floor and that, thankfully, generally is where it all stays.
March 5th, 2006 at 9:42 am
I disagree: hottiness is not always a given when on the dance floor, there are times when seeing someone on the dance floor can have the opposite effect! Example: “Wow..what a hottie!” a few minutes later: “OMIGOD! He looks like he is flailing in the deep-end…is he having a seizure? Did he really just do The Lawmower and why is he biting his lip like that?” Maybe its just me, but sometimes the sight of a man shaking his booty is downright disturbing! However, at least we can be relieved to know that hottiness is NOT limited to the dancefloor. Is Big Bear closed for the season? ha ha. I say next time you get/give that phone number, regardless of pattern behavior. I know for a fact that you are an amazing woman who men would fall to their knees to have you be emotional in their direction.